Buressted Development Division

The Dawg Pound
Investing heavily in their ground game, GM Brian snapped up Rashard Mendenhall with the number eighth pick in the draft. With seven other RBs selected before him, Mendenhall was the last RB of the first round. Soon afterward, Brian picked up Darren McFadden and Shonn Greene, securing a young and promising backfield. Michael Bush, McFadden's timeshare mate, was wisely handcuffed with the RD13 selection.

With Drew Brees leading the way, the aerial game will have some oomph with young WRs Mike Williams, Mario Manningham, and Mike Sims-Walker (already dubbed "The Three MMMusketeers" by Dawg Pound PR). Veteran Santana Moss will be around too, in case one of them falters and a "S" in "musketeers" needs to be capitalized. We think Kellen Winslow has a bigger name than game, but he'll be serviceable at tight end. The Dawg Pound clearly is focused on defense, as they were only one of two teams to select two (Packers in the eighth round and Saints in the fifteenth). Gotta prep for that bye week I guess.

Big Blue
With the tenth and last draft position, it's often hard to get a premier RB so Leigh wisely chose to secure two of the best receivers in Larry Fitzgerald and Calvin Johnson with their wraparound picks. Proving that she believes in potential, Leigh went with Matt Ryan at the bottom of the third round, right after a big QB run that consisted of Michael Vick, Tom Brady, Drew Brees, and Philip Rivers. Clearly Leigh thinks Ryan is a franchise player and backup Mark Sanchez should only see bye week action. Well, on the field that is. Interviews afterward revealed that Sanchez was selected mainly for his movie star good looks. "He's so cute!" a team official gushed. Matty Ice will be relegated to playing wingman to Maverick Mark when they hit the bars post-victories.

With such a multi-talented passing game in place, the backfield will need some good karma to keep pace. DeAngelo Williams is in a timeshare and if Jonathan Stewart goes down to injury, Williams has proven that he can carry a team to a fantasy championship. Big things are expected of rookie Mark Ingram but he'll find a crowded backfield in New Orleans. We're pretty sure Brandon Jacobs and Cedric Benson are just about washed up, so unless one of them surprises, Big Blue will take to the skies behind Ryan, Fitzgerald, Johnson, Percy Harvin, Pierre Garcon, nice sleeper Jordy Nelson, aging Hines Ward, and tight end Vernon Davis.

Welcome to the BOOM!
Really more of a statement than a team name, "WttB!" will shortened to just "BOOM!" for official jerseys, logos, and team paraphernalia. Our analysts love Ray Rice and he was plucked with the second overall selection, ahead of what many experts suggested, as they were locked in on Adrian Foster. GM Gaurav followed a simple game plan: take advantage of PPR. Versatile starting RBs Rice and Matt Forte are both excellent receiving threats. High volume possession receivers dominate the roster (Reggie Wayne, Jeremy Maclin, Jason Witten, Marques Colston, Mike Thomas, Davone Bess) with only two deep threats (Jeremy Maclin, Johnny Knox) to send downfield.

Yes, Ben Jarvis-Ellis will make an appearance for short yardage touchdowns, and a plethora of RB gambles (Carnell Williams, Danny Woodhead, Jason Snelling) will try to see some bye week action but this team is built to take advantage of reception points. Also a sign that BOOM! knows what's happening in the National Football League: Josh Freeman was drafted as the sole quarterback. This publication believes that Freeman is going to well, how can we say it? Go boom this season.

Forsett in Her Butt
We don't know what a "forsett" is but it sure sounds uncomfortable in butts or anywhere else. Justin Forsett, Seahawks running back, had the chance to be drafted for this franchise but was rudely tossed aside after he admitted that he was actually into women for their personalities and non-fiction book collections. Each to their own in fantasies I guess.

Team owner Igor proved that he was more of a legs and thighs man himself, as he led off with three running backs for his draft (Chris Johnson, Steven Jackson, Peyton Hillis). Watch those legs churn! We're a little concerned that less attention was paid to the receiving unit, as Wes Welker isn't really a number one receiver, and Stevie Johnson, Danny Amendola, Nate Burleson, and Earl Bennett aren't going to scare many secondaries either. The good news is that the quarterback throwing them the ball has quite the prodigious derriere: Big Ben Roethlisberger.

Can we offer up a few musical selections for this team's intro song? Please vote for your favorite.

• 2 Live Crew, "Hoochie Mama"
• Notorious BIG, "Big Booty Hoes"
• Sir Mix-a-lot, "I Like Big Butts"
• Mos Def, "Ms. Fat Booty"
• Write in vote

Combat Evolved
League commissioner Oliver threatened the writing staff that if we didn't give high marks to his draft, he'd withhold paychecks. Having laid out that editorial conflict, we'll go ahead and say it with coerced gusto and half-hearted enthusiasm: We love this team! LeSean McCoy! Frank Gore! Michael Vick! Brandon Marshall! Antonio Gates! Knowshon Moreno! Chad "Ultimate Catch" Ochocinco! Ryan "Leaf" Mathews! Mike Williams, (NCAA) Champion! Two players with abbreviated first names (C.J. Spiller and A.J. Green)! Jacoby f@&king Ford!

And let's not forget Neil Rackers and Steelers defense! Both better at football than Justin Bieber! Rookie Daniel Thomas will get an interrobang because we have no idea if he'll be great or terrible?! In conclusion: WE LOVE THIS TEAM!! We also get paid per exclamation mark. Oh wait, there's no pay for writing these team previews? WTF...